A series of Unfortunate Experiences - Part 2

One of the worst betrayals came from someone I had trusted for 30 years. She once said to me, “It’s taken me 30 years to figure out what sort of person you are.” That statement revealed more about her than it ever did about me. She was speaking after I discovered that she had been secretly involved with the man who had been living in my home for eight months. A man who, from the moment I picked him up at the Train Station, slowly took over my space without ever offering real commitment, discussion, or respect. It wasn’t a relationship, yet he stayed. I worked night shifts, returning home to find him in my bed, contributing nothing and expecting everything. Every time I tried to address the situation, he deflected. If I wasn’t working to pay for his lifestyle, I was expected to supply whatever he needed to keep himself entertained; his only real focus being cannabis, cocaine, and avoiding any form of responsibility.

Through it all I confided in my best friend, unaware that she had been speaking to him behind my back. Unaware that, before I even knew the full extent of his deceit, she had already been involved with him, just like so many others. When it all came to light he had no shame. He took to social media to broadcast it, as if it were a joke. As if I were a joke. Not long after that, I was out celebrating a friend’s birthday when they walked into the bar. Her… and him. What followed wasn’t exactly my finest moment. Heated words were exchanged, glasses were thrown and before I knew it I was barred. The betrayal still burned and their audacity was laughable, but I took the barring on the chin. Honestly, I wasn’t going out much anymore anyway. 

As for them? 

I said goodbye as quickly as they chose to hurt me.

Realising My Mistakes It took a series of difficult experiences to help me recognise my own mistakes. I allowed someone I barely knew into my home and more importantly, into my life. Without truly knowing him, I made the mistake of letting him be around my son and before I realised it, he was staying long-term without any real conversation or agreement. What started as something casual slowly became an uncomfortable and unstable situation, and it stayed that way until both of them were completely out of my life. That realisation didn’t fix everything but it sparked something inside. I had some work to do, to be the person I truly wanted to be. From then on, I began to recognise the toxic friendships I had been blind to for so long. I started to see the people around me for who they really were. Some were supportive, while others were anything but. They weren’t on the same path as me, and instead of lifting me up, they were quietly holding me back. It wasn’t easy, but I stopped talking to quite a few of them, cutting ties with those whose presence drained more than it gave. 

Life wasn’t done teaching me lessons yet. I was still on the road to self-discovery. In part three, you’ll hear about one of the most horrible men I have ever encountered.

Let’s look at this from the outside in…

This situation includes multiple forms of abuse, both explicit and subtle. Here are the types of abuse present:

• Emotional Abuse - The manipulation, disregard, and gaslighting by both him and the friend. - Refusing to communicate, making the person question their own reality.

• Psychological Abuse - The gradual erosion of self-worth due to constant neglect, invalidation, and betrayal. - Refusing to leave while simultaneously refusing commitment, creating a psychologically distressing situation.

• Financial Abuse- Contributing nothing yet expecting to be provided for.

• Neglect and Exploitation - Using someone’s home, resources, and their energy without reciprocation, essentially taking advantage of their generosity.

• Social Abuse - Publicly humiliating someone by boasting about their actions on social media. A form of social abuse meant to degrade and control the narrative.
  

I just want to take a moment to appreciate the strength it takes to face the past and speak the truth. If you’re holding on to painful memories, know that you are likely holding yourself back. Don’t let the bad moments keep you from enjoying the good ones.

Every step forward is a step closer. To those who have supported me, listened, and lifted me up, you matter more than you know. Please reach out to someone if you think you may be experiencing any of these difficulties. Here, I have provided a list of UK based services who are there to support you through difficult and dangerous situations. https://www.marie-louise-motivation.com/resources 

Letting Go to Grow Ultimately, healing isn’t about getting even or seeking revenge, it’s about reclaiming your peace, setting boundaries and recognising your worth. Sometimes, the hardest lessons come from the people who hurt us the most, but those lessons can be the catalyst for real growth. Letting go of toxic relationships, whether friendships or romantic ones, isn’t a sign of weakness - it’s a powerful act of self-respect. When you stop chasing people who aren’t meant to be part of your journey, you make space for those who are - and in that space, you’ll find your strength, your clarity and most importantly, yourself.

“The bad thing is, time flies. The good thing is, you’re the pilot.” 

Time moves whether we’re ready or not, but the beauty lies in knowing we have the power to steer our own course. Each moment is a choice…how we spend it, who we spend it with, and what we make of it. So grab the controls, map your path, and make the journey one worth remembering. 

Marie-Louise. X